I'm not a mother, but I can sympathize with you. I, too, work full-time. However in recent years, my sister and I care for my parents. My father, who passed away in April 2020, had Parkinson's, an insidious disease. It was draining physically and emotionally on all of us, especially my mother. My father was in the hospital a few times. My sister and I tried as much as could to help my mother. I felt like I was constantly running. My mother has some health issues of her own. She has arthritis in her back and has trouble with balance and walking. She doesn't drive, so my sister and I take her to doctor's appointments and shopping, etc. The one good thing that came out of the pandemic was that my sister and I worked remotely. We actually worked at our mother's house during the day and were able to be there for her. My sister still works entirely remotely. I do so two days a week. This has eased our minds because we can be there with our mother during the day. However, we are constantly concerned about our mother.
Despite all of this, I try my best to squeeze in the time to write. Some days I can only write a couple of paragraphs because I'm either tired or my brain is not working. Other days the words flow and I'm able to write two or three pages. As the saying goes: Where there's a will, there's a way.
So feel for you, Daniella. It's really great you and your sister can be there for your parents. I too squeeze in what I can. One reason I release a novella in November is because I can write it over the summer when I'm my busiest and my daily goal is lower. Since May I've written less than 500 words most days - but I have written almost every day, and amazingly I now almost have a complete 40k draft. There's a big difference between a few 100 words/a few paragraph a day and nothing, when you look at it over weeks or months.
I didn't start writing until my daughter was out of the house, and I admire any author who can balance parenting, a day job, and productivity. My day job was representing children in foster care proceedings, which is meaningful, interesting work, but often daunting. I don't miss it now that I'm writing full time, but I do miss having in my life something substantial and interesting that gives me a real break from the writing. Sitting in court, waiting for my turn at cross examination, I was not fretting over how to get more conflict into the most recent draft scene's subtext. The writing was at rest. Similarly, when I was writing, the lawyering was at rest, and I think both pursuits benefited.
And both careers--the legal and the literary--benefited enormously from my parenting experience. I'm not as confident that the parenting benefited (the lawyering was an especially difficult fit), but the bills were paid, and that too is part of providing for a child.
That must have been very challenging but also meaningful work, Grace! I too find the break between my different jobs helps both by giving my brain something else to focus (and I also think when I'm focused on other job, my subconscious often makes progress on the work that isn't my focus). I'm fortunate that both my jobs provide a lot of flexibility and a lot of ways to integrate Mélanie. And the exposure to the arts is wonderful. She also already grasped that working in the arts may require a "a day job" and she likes that mine provide opera comps - she'd like one like that herself so she can take her children to the opera :-).
I'm not a mother, but I can sympathize with you. I, too, work full-time. However in recent years, my sister and I care for my parents. My father, who passed away in April 2020, had Parkinson's, an insidious disease. It was draining physically and emotionally on all of us, especially my mother. My father was in the hospital a few times. My sister and I tried as much as could to help my mother. I felt like I was constantly running. My mother has some health issues of her own. She has arthritis in her back and has trouble with balance and walking. She doesn't drive, so my sister and I take her to doctor's appointments and shopping, etc. The one good thing that came out of the pandemic was that my sister and I worked remotely. We actually worked at our mother's house during the day and were able to be there for her. My sister still works entirely remotely. I do so two days a week. This has eased our minds because we can be there with our mother during the day. However, we are constantly concerned about our mother.
Despite all of this, I try my best to squeeze in the time to write. Some days I can only write a couple of paragraphs because I'm either tired or my brain is not working. Other days the words flow and I'm able to write two or three pages. As the saying goes: Where there's a will, there's a way.
So feel for you, Daniella. It's really great you and your sister can be there for your parents. I too squeeze in what I can. One reason I release a novella in November is because I can write it over the summer when I'm my busiest and my daily goal is lower. Since May I've written less than 500 words most days - but I have written almost every day, and amazingly I now almost have a complete 40k draft. There's a big difference between a few 100 words/a few paragraph a day and nothing, when you look at it over weeks or months.
I didn't start writing until my daughter was out of the house, and I admire any author who can balance parenting, a day job, and productivity. My day job was representing children in foster care proceedings, which is meaningful, interesting work, but often daunting. I don't miss it now that I'm writing full time, but I do miss having in my life something substantial and interesting that gives me a real break from the writing. Sitting in court, waiting for my turn at cross examination, I was not fretting over how to get more conflict into the most recent draft scene's subtext. The writing was at rest. Similarly, when I was writing, the lawyering was at rest, and I think both pursuits benefited.
And both careers--the legal and the literary--benefited enormously from my parenting experience. I'm not as confident that the parenting benefited (the lawyering was an especially difficult fit), but the bills were paid, and that too is part of providing for a child.
Always, the compromises and cross-tensions.
That must have been very challenging but also meaningful work, Grace! I too find the break between my different jobs helps both by giving my brain something else to focus (and I also think when I'm focused on other job, my subconscious often makes progress on the work that isn't my focus). I'm fortunate that both my jobs provide a lot of flexibility and a lot of ways to integrate Mélanie. And the exposure to the arts is wonderful. She also already grasped that working in the arts may require a "a day job" and she likes that mine provide opera comps - she'd like one like that herself so she can take her children to the opera :-).